secondary IF

The first time we went through IVF, I had no idea how to blog. Now I regret it. I wish that I had recorded everything somewhere. People ask me questions now and I can't remember the answers to them. How many days did you stim for? (13) What was your first beta? (120 at 12 dp5dt) What was your Lupron dose? (yikes, I have no idea!) What was your PIO dose? (oops, forgot that too!) At the time it was so much a part of our life that I thought I would never forget. Now, 15 months later, I'm amazed how much I've forgotten. So this time I'm going to try to record everything so I can be more helpful to others who go through it.

Secondary IF is very different from primary IF. I would never, ever pretend that what I am going through is as hard as what we went through before. This time we have a baby. Last time we had no idea if we would ever have a baby. Yes, I would like to have more kids. But at the same time I realize how blessed we are to have a baby at all. I have promised myself that when things get tough and I start to get down I will remember that we have so much to be thankful for. I have already accepted that God may mean for us to be a single kiddo family. If that is what is meant to be then I am okay with that. Or maybe he means for us to adopt an older child who needs a family. I'm okay with that too. I know better than to never say never, but at this point I am still saying I would never go through another fresh cycle. I was willing to spend $15,000 when faced with the prospect of not having a baby at all. I was willing to go through the horror that is a fresh IVF cycle when it became clear that it was the only way we would ever have a biological child. I don't think I am willing to go through it again though.

So, for now the plan is to go back to IVF for this second time around. We were blessed to have three frozen embryos left from our fresh cycle, so we are planning to transfer one or two of those this time. The FET (frozen embryo transfer) will be much, much easier than a fresh cycle. I talked to my IVF nurse, Jamie, last week. I didn't write down what she said (note to self, write it all down), but I remember she said something about taking Estrace before the transfer and I think progesterone after the transfer. They put the embryos back in based on my ovulation date. I think they are six day blasts, so they will go back in six days after I ovulate. They will do ultrasounds to determine when I ovulate to time the transfer. Easy, smeasy compared to what we went through last time! The one thing I wasn't expecting was that I have to have an HSG. It is a test where they push dye through your uterus and tubes to make sure they are all clear. We don't need my tubes, so they won't be worried about those. They will be looking to see if there is anything in my uterus that might keep the little embies from implanting. Hopefully the answer is no and we move forward with a transfer as early as next month. But since I have been pregnant, apparently there is some chance they might find something there. I'm nervous because my last HSG was really rough, so I'm hoping it will be easier this time!